All my memories of my grandparents are of them together.
We lived quite far away from each other and for those few times that they do visit and stayed at our place. I was always amazed how they made being married look so natural and something that I'd like for myself. If one of them enters the room, you can definitely count on the fact that the other one would be there a few minutes later. They just love being in each other's company.
When I got word that my grandmother passed away. I immediately thought of my grandfather and how he must be feeling. A little over 2 weeks after her death, my grandfather also passed away. It was sad but I also felt that they just could't bear being apart and it was how they'd want it... together, right until the end.
Their memorial service was held today at Dallas, Texas. I wish I was there to be with them for the last time, I did a presentation for their memorial service/ viewing and it was really emotional doing this little video for them.
Thank you Grandparents for being such a role model,
Sometimes we try to focus on the what ifs or the big moments
we neglect to enjoy the "now" and the ordinary.
Learn to enjoy everything in yourlife...
the ordinary are just as important as the milestones...
* * * * *
This is so touching. Every mother's sentiment...
It has taken me awhile, but I do certainly know it now-
The most wonderful gift I had,
the gift I finally learned to cherish above all else,
was the gift of all those perfectly ordinary days.
- Katrina Kenison
* * * * * Some great quotes from her book as well Source: goodreads.com
“Not a day goes by that I don't still need to remind myself that my life is not just what's handed to me, nor is it my list of obligations, my accomplishments or failures, or what my family is up to, but rather it is what I choose, day in and day out, to make of it all. When I am able simply to be with things as they are, able to accept the day's challenges without judging, reaching, or wishing for something else, I feel as if I am receiving the privilege, coming a step closer to being myself. It's when I get lost in the day's details, or so caught up in worries about what might be, that I miss the beauty of what is.”
“Life finds its balance. Children grow up. Second chances come along. In the meantime, I could choose to savor this moment. What good would it do to allow annoyance to interfere with gratitude?”
“I know I can't make time slow down, can't hold our life as it is in a freeze frame or slow my children's inexorable journeys into adulthood and lives of their own. But I can celebrate those journeys by bearing witness to them, by paying attention, and, perhaps most of all, by carrying on with my own growth and becoming. Now it dawns on me that the only way I can figure out what I'm meant to be doing is to try to understand who I'm meant to be...I will not waste this life, not one hour, not one minute. I will not take for granted the blessing of our being here...I will give thanks...”
“...there is no such thing as a charmed life, not for any of us, no matter where we live or how mindfully we attend to the tasks at hand. But there are charmed moments, all the time, in every life and in every day, if we are only awake enough to experience them when they come and wise enough to appreciate them.”
“One of the greatest challenges I've faced as a mother-especially in these anxious, winner-takes-all times-is the need to resist the urge to accept someone else's definition of success and to try to figure out, instead, what really is best for my own children, what unique combination of structure and freedom, nurturing and challenge, education and exploration, each of them needs in order to grow and bloom.”
“we can learn to trust our maternal selves and to have faith in the innate goodness and purity of our children - even when we feel overwhelmed and the kids are pushing all our buttons. we can support one another....we can be understanding of each other and easier on ourselves.”
A friend of mine told me about this inspiring speech. This is really a good read... There is a lot of things he said that rings true and must be our motto in life.
This is a prepared text of the Commencement address delivered by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, on June 12, 2005.
I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.
The first story is about connecting the dots.
I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?
It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.
And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.
It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:
Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.
None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, it's likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.
Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.
My second story is about love and loss.
I was lucky — I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation — the Macintosh — a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.
I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.
I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.
During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.
I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.
My third story is about death.
When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.
Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.
About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.
I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I'm fine now.
This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope it's the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:
No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.
Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.
When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.
Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.
It's hard work to have 2 babies without a yaya- True!
BUT it really warms my heart when I see how much my kids love each other and how they are becoming day by day- and knowing deep down that it is because of our efforts that they are what they are now.
10 Basic Truths About Keeping Your Relationship Healthy
It's easy to make relationships more complicated than they are.
Published on September 20, 2009
I think it's easy to make things more complicated than they need to be. Here are some basic rules of
the relationship road that will keep you headed in the right direction.
* The Young(er) 'US' :)
...Love to look at the old pictures, bring out those memories once again
1. Successful relationships take work. They don't happen in a vacuum. They occur when the couples in them take the risk of sharing what it is that's going on in their hearts and heads.
2. You can only change yourself, not your partner. If you love someone and think that after a while he or she will alter behaviors you find uncomfortable, think again. If you want changes, put them on the table, so your partner knows what you need. ,<--- so so correct! You can-NOT expect to change someone, change yourself and maybe the rest will follow...
3. All arguments stem from our own fear or pain. When upset occurs, check out what's going on inside you rather than getting angry with your partner. Truth is that we usually aren't upset for the reasons we think we are.
4. Understand that men and women are very different. We're not from Mars or Venus; we're not even in the same solar system. Understanding and celebrating our differences will make living together more peaceful, interesting and fun.
5. Honor each other in some way every day. Every morning, you have the opportunity to make your relationship sweeter and deeper by recommitting to your mate. Feeling respected and cherished by the one you love makes life much nicer.
6. Anger is a waste of time. Anger also is a relationship killer because it makes you self-absorbed and won't allow you to see the good. If you are annoyed with your mate, give yourself some time to calm down and then gently discuss what's going on for you.
7. Get regular tune-ups. Go to a couples workshop, talk with a counselor or read a relationship book together at least once a year. Even if you don't think that you need ideas, and the process alone will strengthen your connection.
8. Find a way to become and stay best friends. For some, this sounds unromantic, but for those who live it, most say it's the best part of their time together.
9. Be responsible for your own happiness. No other person can make you happy. It's something that you have to do on your own. If you feel that it's your partner's fault, think again, and look within to find out what piece may be missing for you.
10. Give what you want to get. Our needs change with time. If you'd like to feel understood, try being more understanding. If you want to feel more love, try giving more. It's a simple program that really works.
There are no guarantees, but couples who practice these techniques have longer and stronger relationships than those who are not proactive in their love.
LOVE THIS ARTICLE... I agree and do most of these tips except for the # 7 Tune up... Just want to share and CHEERS to a Healthy Relationship
I just had my box set up on recording the Storyline show. I was impressed how they do video editing now in Manila. Then I saw the segment about Kcat.
Kcat was diagnosed with NS2, instead of giving up, she remains strong and full of purpose. Even with the diagnosis, she didn't lost her spirit and she uses her talent as a graphic artist to raise funds for her treatment.She designs T-shirt which symbolizes an ear and a hearing aid on top of each other that opens up to a heart. Simple design yet it sums up the message she wants to convey- HEAR ME WITH YOUR HEART. To Kcat, stay strong and be an inspiration to all of us...
If you could turn back time, would you change anything?
We take decision every waking moments of our life and all that we are, all that we do are outcomes of all the decisions that we took consciously or subconsciously. One small decision we took long time back made what we are today.
Life direction is shaped by all the small choices we make.
Having kids makes me want to be a better person and makes me really scared of every little things that I do which might affect their persona...I know that I will be probably more protective of Kimi just for the fact that she is a girl... I know there is no formula to raising kids but this one does comes close to what I hope to achieve in raising my Kimi.
I came across this entry reading a blog from one of my good friend, G. Posted it here to share it to everyone.
Thanks G
* * *
The relationship between mothers and their daughters is an incredibly strong one. Moms raising girls have the power to shape the next generation of women and those to come by teaching their kids important lessons.
1. That confidence and independence are beautiful.
2. That size doesn't matter, but wasting her time worrying about it does.
3. That brilliance should never be downplayed.
4. That emotions are liberating so she should go ahead and laugh, cry or scream.
5. To always have enough i
money to pay her own way, but to be gracious when someone else treats. And to be generous with what she has.
6. To not make age an excuse for her actions.
7. That "mean girls" are really just insecure.
8. That she has an amazing power to make a difference in life.
9. To actively pursue her dreams especially those that seem unattainable.
10. That the love she will give and receive is limitless.
The Economist's World's Most Livable Cities 2010 (Top 10) City Country Rating 1 Vancouver Canada 98.0 2 Melbourne Australia 97.9 3 Vienna Austria 97.5 4 Toronto Canada 97.2 5 Calgary Canada 96.6 6 Helsinki Finland 96.2 7 Perth Australia 96.1 8 Adelaide Australia 95.9 Auckland New Zealand 95.9 10 Glasgow Scotland 95.7
Since I just posted an entry on a Korean movie, "The Perfect Man", Is there such a thing?! This story is from Paulo Coelho...
Nasrudin was talking to a friend, who asked him:
‘Have you never considered getting married, Mullah?’
‘I have,’ replied Nasrudin. ‘In my youth, I resolved to find the perfect woman. I crossed the desert and reached Damascus, and I met a lovely, very spiritual woman, but she knew nothing of the world. I continued my journey and went to Isfahan; there I met a woman who knew both the spiritual and the material world, but she was not pretty. Then I decided to go to Cairo, where I dined in the house of a beautiful woman, who was both religious and a connoisseur of material reality.’
‘Why didn’t you marry her, then?’
‘Alas, my friend, she was looking for the perfect man.’
...sometimes we try to look for a lot of things in our partner when we have to start within ourselves first. I believe that there is no perfect anyone and as one quote states:
My Imperfect hubby, perfect for me though :)
"True love does not come by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly."
Let's talk about love this month... I love this piece a lot and I want to share it with u...
Extracts from “The Prophet”
In his book “The Prophet,” Khalil Gibran tells the story of Al-Mustafá, a man who returns to his homeland. The inhabitants of the village where he has spent all those years ask him to teach what he has learned. Below are some of the (edited) extracts from this classic of the 20th century:
Matrimony
You were born together and together you will be when the white wings of death end your days because you will remain united in the silent memory of God. But let there be room between the two. Let the wind of the skies pass through your bodies. Love, but do not turn love into bondage. Let one of you fill the other’s glass, but may you never drink from the same glass. Sing and dance, be happy, but let each of you keep your independence; the cords of the lute are single, although they resound to the same music. Surrender your heart, but not for the other to possess – because only the hand of Life can hold full hearts. Be together, but not too together – because the pillars of a temple are separated. The oak does not grow in the shadow of the cypress, and the cypress cannot grow in the shadow of the oak.
Children
Your children are not your children; they are the sons and daughters of life. They came through you, but do not belong to you. They can give you their love, but not their thoughts – because they have their own dreams. You can protect their bodies, but not their souls – because their souls inhabit the house of tomorrow, which not even in dream can you visit. You can try to be like them, but do not try to make them behave like you; because life does not go backwards, nor is it seduced by yesterdays. You are the bow from where your children, like living arrows, are shot forward; let the hand of the Archer do its work, because just as He loves the arrow that flies, He also loves the bow that stays still.
Love
When love calls, accept its call, even if the road is rough and difficult. And when your wings open up, surrender yourselves, even if the spade that lies there hidden ends up wounding one of you. And when love says something, believe it, even if its voice destroys your dreams like the Northern wind devastates the gardens. Because love glorifies and crucifies. It makes the branches grow and then trims them. It crushes men until they are flexible and docile. It burns them in divine fire so that they can convert into sacred bread to be served at God’s banquet. However, if you are afraid and want to find in love only peace and pleasure, better that you stay away from the door and seek some other world where you will be able to laugh but without any joy, and cry but without using up all your tears. Love gives nothing and asks for nothing besides itself. Love neither possesses nor is possessed – because it suffices to itself. And do not try to direct its course – because love thinks that you are worthy, it will lead you to where you have to go.
We usually do resolutions during New Year. This year I want to focus also on what I should be thankful for in the year 2009.
First and foremost, I am thankful for my FAMILY.
To Karl, my hubby
KARL
Thank you for your never-ending support and service to me, your babies and my family. You make us your priority and thank you very much for doing everything to make things easier for me... I can't Thank God enough for giving you to be my lifetime partner. You were well worth the wait...
For my babies,
KIMI
Kimi, you never fail to make me feel love. You are the sunshine of my life and you taught me how to love completely and unselfishly. I hope that you can feel the love everyday through my actions... I love you my little princess.
KENZO
Kenzo, to the new guy in my life, I am happy to finally meet you :). I hope you will grow up to be like your dad... Before you, I was scared if there is enough love in me to give out to you. You made me realize that there is much love in me to go around.... that love doesn't divide, but it multiplies. I love you so much little boy...
MOM AND DAD
To my parents... Thank you for always making your love felt even through the distance... To all the sacrifices and being a friend as well as a parent. I love you both very much
To my brothers...
ERIC
To Eric,
The silent one, but you always makes me feel your love through your silent actions. You are someone I can count on and you have proved it time and again. You are also my silent protector, You look out for me in ways that I have never asked of you but you did on you own and I thank you for that.
KEN
To my baby brother Kenneth, You make me really proud of you. You were always there for me and I know that whatever happens you will stand by me through thick and thin, I miss hugging you every night and I miss your positive outlook in life, I will see you soon, ok?
CHUA FAMILY
To my Chua Family, the endless support and concern from my parent in law and brother in law. The precious friendship that I have formed with my sister in law. Thank you for trusting me with all your inner thoughts and being a shoulder to cry on whenever I need it...Thank you for just being you, I really miss having you around here...
A very wealthy man asked a Zen master for a text which would always remind him how happy he was with his family.
The Zen master took some parchment and, in beautiful calligraphy, wrote:
– The father dies. The son dies. The grandson dies.
– What? – said the furious rich man. – I asked you for something to inspire me, some teaching which might be respectfully contemplated by future generations, and you give me something as depressing and gloomy as these words?
– You asked me for something which would remind you of the happiness of living together with your family. If your son dies first, everyone will be devastated by the pain. If your grandson dies, it would be an unbearable experience.
“However, if your family disappears in the order which I placed on the paper, this is the natural course of life. Thus, although we all endure moments of pain, the generations will continue, and your legacy will be long-lasting.”
....but it is a light read he he! Sorry to disappoint but it is not some historical or a politcal figure but a hollywood mommy :)
I am not going to subject myself to hard core reading with all the stress I am normally having, I deserve a light read to entertain myself :)
I did find some quotable quotes that I love from the book...
...We are not defined by the family into which we're born, but the one we choose and create. We are not born, we become...
***
My whole life I wanted to be normal. Everybody knows there's no such thing as normal. There is no black and wite definition of normal. Normal is subjective.
HAVE YOU WATCHED THEM SLEEP? Article written by Shakuntala Devi
I received a message on my Friendster account the other day. It was one of those forwarded messages, the type I would usually scan briefly before hitting "delete".
But this message, written in Bahasa Malaysia, started with a simple question that caught my attention A rough translation of it goes like this:
"Have you ever watched your parents as they are asleep? Your father's body once big and strong but now, the big is withered and the strong weakened. Wisps of grey peek out of his hair, wrinkles now "scar" on his forehead and face."
"This man works hard every day and would sacrifice anything to make sure his family is provided for and his children get the best education possible."
"Or what about your mother, whose soft hands once cuddled and held you close when you were a baby? Now, those hands are dry and rough, bearing evidence of the challenges she faced just for us."
"This woman takes care of our daily needs, constantly nagging and scolding us because of her love for us. But sadly, we often miscontrue her love as control and unfairness."
I have never thought of watching my parents while they slept. I've watched my cousins sleep when they were babies, all round and cuddly and sweet smelling. But watch my parents? No way!
But after reading this message, I realised that there is indeed much truth in it. In fact, my parents don't have to be asleep for me to realise that they have aged.
Just looking at my mother walk tells me that her legs are not as strong as they were before. Or hearing for her to ask me to help with that flowerpot in the garden, the one she used to be able to push and drag around the garden without my help.
Or watching my dad lift a 10kg bag of rice. I can easily carry that now. I am young. But to him, it is a struggle.
What do all these observations tell me? Yes, my parents have aged. They are ageing, as I am ageing. But as I age towards my best years and become stronger, they in turn are becoming weaker. They were once the caregiver and I the receiver. In time, I know our roles will reverse. Like it or not, want it or not, this is life.
I suppose I have always subconciously thought that my parents would always be with me, never growing old. It took that message to make me realise that my parents are not immortal. That they, too, will one day leave the world and me. Until then, I will make good use of our time together.
By the way, I am forwarding that message to all my family and friends to remind them to appreciate what they have now. It will not last.
